Living intentionally

There's a tube strike today.

The last time this happened, I got caught in the bus crush outside Liverpool Street and arrived at work almost two hours late. Determined to not let that happen again, and excited about travelling in with my beloved (who has a training course minutes away from my work), I stumbled out of bed around 6.30am and was out the door for just after 7.

We were blessed. The portion of the Victoria Line we needed was working so we arrived at our destination at 7.45 - leaving plenty of time to get some breakfast. I chose La Pain Quotidien, one of my favourite restaurants, where I had French bacon and eggs (prosciutto instead of regular bacon) with toast and my beloved had porridge with fruit compote. We had fresh orange juice too, from actual oranges there and then.

After a slow walk to my workplace, it was still only 8.50. This was strange. I'm used to rushing around, power-walking through the door flustered and totally unprepared for the day. Instead I had a whole hour to myself to get ready for the day and finish off tasks in time for our team meeting.

I could get used to this. I know it's *much* better for me. But I just can't seem to shake my night-owl tendencies.

Over at YLCF, a blog I've been frequenting for some years now, there's talk of schedules and lists and priorities (oh my). They're having a blog carnival called 'A Peek Into Your Week', the "second annual virtual peek into each other's lives". I won't be entering (the phrase "Schedule? What schedule?" comes to mind). But it's gotten me thinking.

If I'm being honest, things are a bit of a mess at the moment. Instead of living intentionally and redeeming the time, I fumble about half-heartedly from task to task, frequently forget things/leave them to the *very* last minute and waste a shocking amount of time. I'm not proud of any of this, but admitting it is the first step to dealing with it.

Today I spent my lunch hour at Yumchaa thinking through some things, and I feel a little better. But there's a long road ahead. I've developed some very bad habits over the last 10 or so years and breaking them won't be an easy task.

The GirlTalk blog has a great sub-topic on living intentionally that I think is going to be invaluable in providing both encouragement and starting points. Some extracts below:

Look…(Based on Ephesians 5:15-16)
backward on our life thus far, so that we might avoid past errors and repeat former victories;
forward to consider where a plan or course of action may lead;
inside our hearts to examine our motives and the reasons for the choices that we make;
around and take stock of our present fruitfulness;
beside us for critique, help, and wisdom from fellow believers;
and most of all…
Look up and seek guidance from our Heavenly Father through prayer and His Word.

7 Habits of the Highly Effective Woman:
1.    She rises early
2.    She maintains the spiritual disciplines
3.    She focuses on relational priorities for every season
4.    She sets up regular times for planning
5.    She develops an effective to-do list system and calendar/planner system
6.    She establishes an efficient routine for managing her home
7.    She organizes her house systematically

Boy do I have some ways to go :)

At times like these, it's tempting to fall into the mentality of 'going it alone' - what can I do to fix this? The truth is, while I certainly have responsibilities and while there are practical steps I can take, only God can provide the strength and discipline required. We're quick to seek Him for the major decisions in life. But what about the everyday? I am certain that it is partly my failure to consult God on the "smaller" matters that has led to these bad habits. As Charles Bridges puts it:

"It is nothing less than self-idolatry to conceive that we can carry on even the ordinary matters of the day without His counsel"

The first step towards changing anything is to ensure that I have a regular devotional time, that I set aside time for prayer. Not just hurried "help"s (even though these, if sincere, are certainly effective) but proper time to glorify Him, thank Him, bring my troubles to Him.

I cannot afford to let a single day pass by without seeking God. And yet it can happen, when I let the busyness overwhelm me and don't pause to pray.

This is not the first time that I've acknowledged my life is in a state. There have been many resolutions, many strategies, many lists ... and many disappointments. Often I've leapt out of bed, determined to change "my" life, only for everything to come crashing down after a week. Then, frustrated by the whole thing, I've fallen back into my old ways.

When we seek God and acknowledge that He is in control, we realise slip-ups are not the end of the world. They just mean that we are human and can only aspire to perfection ... we won't be getting there any time soon! When we fall (yes I said when) the thing to do is to cry out to Him, get up and carry on.

This time round there's no big strategy. There's just prayer and breaking habits slowly, one at a time. It's a long road. But by God's grace, and God's grace alone, I'll get there.